Uncle Sterling gave the eulogy at his funeral on June 18, 2022. Here is a transcript of the speech:
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About a week and a half ago I went by my dad’s house where he had become bed ridden. He was lying there with his eyes closed. I grabbed his right hand with mine and said, “Hay man.” He opened his eyes but only his right eye cracked open. He said, “Is that you Sterling?” And I said, “Yes sir.” Then he said, “You’re looking good.” I said, “Thanks, and you are too.” Then he said, “I know.”
There’s something you need to know about the Connell’s. We all have a sarcasm/crazy gene. At funerals we are all telling jokes and having fun. The Thompson side isn’t much different either. So with us, we’ve got a double dose. But mamma always said that crazy people have more fun.
My mom was my dad’s scribe.
Here’s an example...
June 19, 1991 at Argyle State Park near Colchester, Ill. On our way to Carthage ... Gas $1.14 per Gal.
Last night, JC + I set up the tent, and I got a supper ready... We cleaned up + packed things away then went for a walk on their nature trail.
It was unbelievable that out here in these flat prairie lands there could be such deep ravines + high bluffs. Poison ivy had leaves as big as plates – looked like a rain forest. Walked through a stand of pitch pines that were soaringly tall. A creek ran all along the trail at the bottom of the ravine.
Eulogy of
Julius Clyburn Connell
Known to ALL as JC
My mom didn’t know that was his name. She asked him what “JC” stood for? He told her, “Julius
Caesar.” She didn’t find out that it was Julius Clyburn until the day they signed their marriage papers. And even then she said, “Hey, that’s not right.” Then he had to come clean.
In our family we tell stories. Most of this eulogy is quoted from stories by my dad or by my mom.
The effort to condense my dads life experience into a speech lead me to a unique place. To make this talk work I’m going to need your attention, your imagination and some help.
Throughout the eulogy keep these 3 things in mind: 1) JC was a Quiet Man, 2) He was a Man of Action and 3) Remember... I’m taking Snap Shots in time to give you a sense of his essence.
First ... I talk a little about his early life.
Second ... Some Military stories
Third ... Some Family stories
Fourth ... Part of JC and Izzy’s romance story.
OK.... Let’s get started.
This is what he said, “I was born the 21st of March 1929 on a small farm near Camden, South Carolina. Of course the stock market fell that year, but all wasn’t bad that year.” His mom almost didn’t get back to the house before he was born. It should be understood that the year wasn’t all bad due to his birth making the year better just by his presence.
He said, “Well, I was 7th in a family of 10 children, so by the time I got to the table there wasn’t much left. We grew Cotton (for money) and Corn, oats and peas to feed the stock. “I learned to swim in the shallow edges of Hermitage pond at 3 years old.”
At 10 years old I took care of the cows. One time when he was coming in from the field he decided climbed onto the mule, which was headed for the shelter. It was feeding time for the mule and he was heading into the low side of the shelter... the animal entrance not the people entrance. This path basically would have scraped the young JC right off the mule but he caught onto a beam and swung safely down. At 10 this was exciting stuff.
He stated that “There were 6 relatives that had nearby farms. And I was welcome at all of them, so I was kinda wild and free growing up.” He was able to fish and hunt at will. Uncle Doug told me that they practiced a lot of “shooting from the hip”. Also, any thing they got out there they would
build a fire and cook and eat it on the spot. Doug said that being able to shoot from the hip saved his life in Korea.
In the winter of 1939 his teenage brothers and sister were going to town in the car. He wanted to tag
along. But they didn’t want him to ride with them. Their mom made them take him along. So they
reluctantly agreed and took him. He was wearing one of his sisters coats. On the way, they stopped at the top of the hill, where the dragged him out of the car and stuffed him in a culvert pipe in the ditch. They told him to keep quiet and they would pick him up when they got back. Teenagers taking care of little brother.
He loved football and played for Camden High school. It may have been a state championship team. I
don’t think he was a star player. He dropped out of school to go to the military.
Now to the Military stories.
“But on a serious note, I realized that I had no support for an education, therefore I decided to enter the
military to take advantage of the G.I. Bill. After a hitch in the army with the occupation forces after WWII in Italy” He was in Trieste, up north and on the back side of the boot. He was being flown up onto the Alps and rounding up German hold outs. He said, “It’s not natural to jump out of a perfectly good plane and it’s also not natural to strap slick boards to your feet on the side of a mountain and ski
down on snow and ice.” He said, “The only proper way to ski is behind a boat.”
“I was sent for by the Red Cross because my mom was sick in the hospital in Camden.” When he got to
NY he hopped a train heading south without paying for a ticket. (In Europe all GI’s rode trains for free.) Not so in the States. When arrived in DC he found the train heading to South Carolina. He hopped on. There he was confronted to show his ticket. He didn’t have one and had no money. The conductor allowed him to stay and was put up in the luggage rack in an all female sleeper car. He thought
that was pretty cool. They stopped the train for him at the Camden train station early in the morning. He got off the train with his duffle bag and started walking down Hwy 1 and got about 100 yards before someone stopped and asked him where he was going. He said, “I’m going to the hospital to see my mom.” The guy said to hop in and then took him to the hospital arriving just as his mom was leaving.
After getting back, “I entered Clemson and was there for a year. Then I received a draft notice classification - I.A. That meant immediate draft. A friend and I decided it would be best to enlist in his old Air Force squadron, and we did. After two and 1/2 years in the Air Force, my dad died in July 1953 and I received a compassionate discharge from the Air Force to take care of my mom until she passed in October of 1953. I met Izzy Thompson at my mother’s passing. She set her sights on me and I was a goner!” (We will come back to this in a minute.)
Once married they were in Kentucky where Bob was born. Then to Germany where Grace was born. When they came back to Fort Jackson (Camden) Bob was speaking German (something about a helicopter). They joined the Church in Camden the year before Joe was born in Camden, then they went to Puerto Rico where Foy was born. So that makes Foy a Puertorican. They came back to Fort Jackson (Camden) and in June, just before I was born, they drove with all the kids to the Temple in Salt Lake
City, UT to be sealed as a family for all time and eternity. The military moved my dad to the White House so we ended up in Viginia where Lois was born. I guess that makes her a Virginian.
He went to Thailand and we stayed in Camden. He went to Germany and we went too. First to West Berlin – inside of East Germany and then to Bremerhaven on the North Sea.
He hated the gray overcast sky in Europe. He would always comment on the beautiful, blue South Carolina sky. Also, the South Carolina clouds were his favorite. He retired in 1971.
We always thought he was a communications expert but he worked on Top Secret stuff for the military that was not declassified until 1988. He would call to talk to his brother Doug and Doug would ask,
What are you doing? The reply: Talking to you. Where are you? The reply: I’m right here. They would play this little game of question/answer.
Third ... Some Family stories
My dad was called to be the Bishop of the Camden ward in the mid 1970s. He helped grow the congregation and helped raise the matching-money to build this very chapel. But what most people do not know is that every Sunday before church, he would get sick... just thinking about having to talk from the pulpit. He never complained.
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Foy had his permit and was driving with my dad sitting in the passenger seat. They were heading past
Hermitage Baptist Church on Hwy #1 going home. My dad said “Slow down some.” Foy eased off a little but ended up passing a couple of cars before turning on McCrae Rd. At this point, with a commanding tone, JC said, “When I tell you to slow down it’s NOT a suggestion. I’m NOT your
friend I’m your father. Don’t let it happen again.” Foy was stunned. My dad rarely raised his voice.
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We had Family Home Evening every Monday night. We would all get together and learn something about God or something about life. This one time it was something about life.
We were sitting there and my dad holds up a roll of toilet paper. “This is a roll of toilet paper.” he explained. “We are using entirely too much with each flush. So, we need to review how to use the toilet paper more efficiently.” He demonstrated the 3 square technique and how to fold the tissue for multiple wipes. He had us on the edge of our seats. He was serious and so were we.
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Lois said that mom had no problem spanking her but daddy only did it once with her. After that he would talk with her about what she did and his disappointment in her. She said that a quick spanking would have been much easier.
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He loved vanilla ice cream dipped in chocolate (a Brown cow) he would share his stash with any grand or great grand child. ALSO, any time he took the kids to an event on the way home they would stop for ice cream.
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We were always spread out all over the property. Way back in the woods. When he or mom needed us he would call us back to the house like trained dogs. He had a very loud and unique whistle that he did. If you heard it, you’d better get your hip in gear and move as fast as you could back to the house. Joe’s the only one of us who was able to master the whistle that daddy did. Occasionally I’ve been around when Joe does that whistle and I find myself trying to figure out where to run to. That training is
deep.
Finally... Part of JC and Izzy’s romance story. “She set her sights on me and I was a goner!”
So, it’s true that JC and Izzy first met at his mother’s wake in October 1953.
Izzy told her mother that she had just met the man that she was going to marry.
A little later there was a dance at the Shrine Club north of Camden. JC arrived with a lady he had been dating and Izzy arrived with her sisters Lib and Suggie and her brother Lloyd. JC’s date was being difficult so he walked over and asked Izzy to dance with him. She said what about your date? Then JC explained to her that his date was leaving the dance with someone else.
He was quiet but he was focused and had nerves of steel.
So, they started to dance. My mom said, “He was stepping all over my feet.” She thought to herself, “This won’t work. He can’t dance.” Then he leaned in and said, “I’m sorry about my feet. I washed them before I came and now I can’t do anything with them.” Then she said to herself, “OK.... He’s funny. This might work.”
Later...
When he had trouble getting the right words to propose to her, she helped him by saying, “Are you trying to say, Let’s get married?” and he said, “Yes that’s it! We ought to.”
Ever since I can remember, my mom would finish my dad’s sentences. It was a natural thing for them.
It was November-December 1953 as they began making plans.... She was 21, he was 24. You know we think of them as we remember them – an older version with wisdom. But they were just starting out 21 and 24 years old. He was starting college down in Tampa and staying with his sister June. Izzy had to finish her Senior year at Winthrop. They set a date for June 1955 for the wedding. But ended up getting married in December of 1954. That’s another story that there’s no time for.
He started school but ended up working at Maren Construction in Tampa in their Surveying division.
He had studied surveying when he was at Clemson. Izzy graduated in the Spring of 1954, and she went
straight to work at an all night Diner at Myrtle Beach owned by her sister Lib. Meanwhile, she was trying to find work in Tampa as a new teacher.
This is from my mom’s journal entry dated on her birthday March 31, 1999. She was 67...
“It was July 3rd 1954. We hadn’t seen each other since New Years Eve. After a long, late shift at the diner I went to bed.
[As morning came] “A little sound from outside was turning into a soft whistle - I pulled the curtain a little to the side and looking toward our little porch was miracle of miracles - soaring spirits hitting my brain, joy filling my soul - JC! Here, now, !!
"I hit the door running and ... [leaped] like a wild thing into ... [his arms]. He was holding me up off the ground hugging me so hard I could barely breathe.
"He had hitchhiked all the way from Tampa to Myrtle Beach to see me.
"He had had no sleep, no food, just faith and a desire to come and hold me.
"I had to go to work - we were able to talk a little - then I put him to bed in my bed – still unmade and he slept as I worked - I got off (2 AM) and he met me at the drive-in - We walked down the beach until he suggested we climb up on a lifeguard stand - which we did – and talked and laughed and planned and renewed our vows of love for each other . . .
"He had to leave going back at first light on the 4th in order to be back to work on the 5th!
"Has anyone ever felt so loved, cared for, blessed, glad, happy and at peace?
"Here, 45 years later, he has again surprised and brought that sweetness rushing back, filling me with joy - one dozen gorgeous long-stemmed blood- red roses with a note “Thanks for the wonderful memories and good times .. Love and kisses” JC
"JC and I were talking .... the other night and he confided to me, some of the times he has treasured the most were in the evening when he’d gotten home from work, supper was over and we were getting the children ready for bed - getting them bathed, things ready for school the next day, playing w/ them some, me reading them a story, Family Prayer, helping them with their prayers, kissing them goodnight, tucking them in, going back with water if they needed it - waiting a while and then going back around and being humbled seeing these precious, beautiful children asleep in the safety of their beds in our home.
"I remember yet the feeling of his strong arm around my waist pulling me so close I’d have to lean my head on his arm. What comfort, what peace, what gladness to know this is what we wanted, to have a family to care for, love, raise up in truth and light together - And he loved it as much as I no matter how tired it made us.”
I can see it in my minds eye. On the other side of the veil, my mom will see my dad and say, “It’s so good to see you!” and he’ll say, “I know.”
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